Self-absorbed

There are a lot of things changing in my life just now, and when I think about it I tend to think about the negative aspects - additional responsibilities at work; change of office location with a resulting sense of loss; illness for my dad meaning travelling each weekend; etc.

On Wednesday of last week I was feeling particularly low. Too many deadlines due on Friday; a sense of remoteness in my new office – relationships still to be formed, alliances and politics still to be identified and understood; physically a bit ‘under the weather’. Generally I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Late in the afternoon I found myself staring out of the window, sort of wondering what to do next, really just wondering when I could go home. Then I noticed the setting sun send its warm, golden rays through the grey clouds that covered most of the sky. As I stood there mesmerised, the sunset grew in intensity turning to a vivid red that changed the whole perspective.

Nothing had changed in terms of the pressures that I felt, but my mood had picked up considerably.

On Thursday morning, the sky was clear and blue as I drove through the Perthshire countryside. There was some low lying mist lingering before the sun warmed up. The trees were clinging to the last of their leaves. The sunrise was beautiful – not particularly dramatic – just beautiful. The yellow glow hinting at the rising sun, still hidden behind the hills. My spirits soared.

There are no photos to accompany this entry. I did have my camera with me, and I thought about stopping on a couple of occasions, but I decided that I wanted to enjoy the moment. So I turned the radio off, temporarily suspending my acquisition of information, opened myself to the beauty around me, and thanked God that I was alive and blessed in so many ways.

Sometimes we’re too self-absorbed to see things in perspective; and we are too ready to focus on our problems rather than revel in the joy that we can find if we would only open our eyes to it.